Also, I need to preface this with a disclaimer. Let it be known that the following stories in no way need to reflect upon our skills as parents, or as pet owners.
And, if you can not abide very light profanity, please discontinue reading this post.
Story 1.
The other evening Brad was giving the girls a bath. After getting out of the tub Norah was bouncing around on her make-shift trundle bed. As usual, great pains had to be taken to get her dressed for bed. As Brad held Norah down in order to put her pajamas on, he noticed something stringy and blue ribboned through her hair and on her face. He asked her what it was and she told him it was gum. While trying to get the completely stuck gum out of her hair, Brad muttered a "son of a..." under his breath. Norah, hearing this said, "bitch dad, it's bitch".
I seriously have no idea where she heard this phrase.
Story 2.
Last Sunday, on our way down to Orem, we stopped by the home we are building. We let Tequila (our dog) out of the car as we checked a few things. We again boarded the car and drove to my parent's home. As we sat down to eat dinner, Brad turned to me and said, "we left our dog at the house", meaning we forgot to reload our dog after letting her out of the car at the house site. I told Brad that I didn't think it was a big deal, dog's are smart (supposedly), the house isn't that far from our home, and she probably will find her way back.
After dinner we decided to head back in order to find Tequila. As we were driving on the freeway, Norah started to get upset about Tequila being lost. I asked her if she wanted to say a prayer to ask for help in finding Tequila. She said yes and began the prayer. She said, "Heavenly Father, please help us find Tequila. Help us to get up off our butts and look for her...".
As we drove up to the new house, Tequila was sitting in the front yard, completely oblivious to the fact that we had deserted her.
For those of you who are my neighbors, you can be rest assured that I am trying to teach Norah proper etiquette and better language skills so that she can continue to play with your children.
And please forgive us for naming our dog Tequila.
20 comments:
All those stories make me like you more. Esp. that your dog is named something so sinful. Is it because he has worms in the bottom?
The worms are pretty good Paige, but she is a chihuahua and we were trying to think of a cute kind of Mexican name. Tequila just seemed to fit.
hahahahah... those are so good. I'm glad you shared. I am awaiting the day when my kids say something involving cuss words. I hope I don't laugh.
Love it. Gum in hair deserves swear words. When my firstborn 2 year old told me he was going to kick my rass I knew I was in trouble.
LOL!!! i am seriously laughing out loud right now...martha i love every bit of them and am happy you shared!
Oh, I'm laughing SOOOOOO hard! Those stories ROCK!
I can't stop laughing! Son of a...
I was worried for a while that my boys would grow up thinking that Cameron's full name was Damnit Cameron. Luckily she and I both grew out of a very bad phase....
We were in the car the other day, and Tyler said "What in the h---."
I tried to explain that this wasn't a word we used in that context. When Mike got home I said, "your son said h-e-double hockey sticks today," and Tyler nearby piped in, "I said, what in the h--- daddy!" He said it so proudly. Of course he probably learned it from me while I was driving. I'm glad it happens in other families too.
You make me giggle... Isn't it sad what our kids hear and repeat? Whether it is from us or somone else - they are like little tape recorders waiting for the most awkward possible moment to share what they have picked up.
I am guilty of saying "what the..." and "son of a..." I trail off and leave out the cuss word, but have found that it is equally embarassing to have your children ALMOST say it in public. Even if they don't even know how to finish the phrase! I still find my face burning and my eyes immediately hit the floor when it happens. Yikes! :)
one of connor's first words was damnit...the worst was when he would yell it during sacrament meeting...thankfully most people didn't realize what he was saying...i am so wicked!
I can't stop laughing. Those are great stories! I have a potty-mouth history that hasn't left me entirely. I hope to have it better managed before kids come along, but I have a feeling I'm going to have stories like that to tell, too!
DH doesn't like me to swear unless it's as a result of him scaring me, which, since the pee incident, he's not allowed to do.
i am laughing out loud right now! I am so glad you posted your stories! you never know what you're going to hear from a child!
That is so funny!!! I need to curb my language starting now to avoid a potentially embarrasing situation in a few years when Riley can talk....Oh my we have our work cut out for us! And dont worry about Tequila, We oncce lost Zoey for 3 days when we moved to a new house in Vegas...and sure enough she somehow found our door step at 5am on the third morning!!!!
I think Tequila is a great name for your dog! Cam goes around saying "Oh my gracious!" and I'm not quite sure if swearing or saying things that a grandma would say is worse. (Yes, I say oh my gracious all the time. I am a silly old woman). He also slams doors and yells. This might be worse than cussing because I have taught him to have my temper. I might rather have him swear!! Love the stories.
Pretty funny! Jared gets mad because Brynlee's favorite word is "crap" - and guess where she gets that from?!
NUMBER 16 COMMENT says: I don't relate to any of these stories at all. Mark and I are always perfectly even tempered and would never say anything profane at all, let alone in front of our kids! And we have never forgotten that we let the dog out to go to the bathroom and then left for the day, leaving the poor thing to wander the neighborhood looking for shade. Shame on you.
Dang... I just spewed my drink all over the computer screen. This is quite possibly one of the funniest things I have ever read:) Thanks for adding some humor to my day!
I am going to be giggling about that one in the car for days! I love it that you are normal, too!!!
Love it! ;) I'm cracking up laughing! I'm glad you found your dog.
Very funny....when your kids use colorful language it is so hard not to laugh, it just sounds so funny with their little voices.
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