It takes time and effort and sometimes I feel guilty. I waffle back and forth about whether or not it is really a best choice.
Then I thought about how many good things I've already sacrificed in order to be a semi-good mom.
I've given up reading (this was a huge sacrifice).
I watch very, very little TV. Sometimes I watch silent TV while breastfeeding.
I never, ever watch movies.
I don't do anything with friends, well once in a great while.
I have employed a babysitter like 5 times in the past 4 years.
(By the way, these are not things I am suggesting every mom should do, they are just things I have had to do because I am a horrible multitasker)
So, after consideration, I decided to give it another week and I am so glad I did, because just look at all of the gratitude it has brought me today:
1. My friend, Wendy (who I met through blogging), is finally a mother after many prayers and a ton of patience. I haven't been able to stop smiling today because I am so happy for her.
2. My frustration at finding the above and being told by my 4 year old (who coincidently is named Norah Griffiths) that my 3 year old did the drawing on the door (who cannot write and who is not named Norah Griffiths) was quickly overshadowed by the knowledge that I am not alone because of this post.
3. Because of blogging, I remembered to take a picture of my girls in the new snow.
4. I get to direct everyone to my dear, talented sister in-law's blog so you can view our Christmas pictures (aren't you so excited) so I can tempt you with a family Christmas card. If you want one email me, marthagriffiths@gmail.com. Some of you will be getting them whether you like them or not, so please reserve a revered spot on your refrigerator or magnet board.
and lastly,
5. I get the opportunity to air my bouts with insanity on my blog so that all of you who live by me can understand my newly acquired ugliness.
I have a self mutilation problem. It has only manifested itself 3 times previously, but sadly, on Thanksgiving afternoon, I was stressed and sad and I took the scissors into my own hands and did something drastic. I chopped my hair off.
(please excuse my skin, stress is manifested in many ways besides chopped hair)
Like I said, I have done this before.
I did it once while in a very stressful companionship on my mission. I just grabbed all of my hair in front and cut it. I ended up feathering it to the side a la 80's style, which luckily seemed to fit right in with the inhabitants of the Provence/time warp I was serving in.
I did it during a not-so-good-for-me relationship back in my early 20's (the girl in the picture with me is my sister, and that is not the relationship I am talking about).
And I did it again after I had my first child.
You may think this is not a big deal, but it is. I have a very pronounced widow's peak and bangs DO NOT WORK. I know this, yet I continue to chop off the front of my hair every time I feel major amounts of stress. This must be a metaphor for something, I just haven't figured it out yet.
So stare if you must, but know-I don't think this is pretty either.
In fact, my hair dresser passed me in the hallway at church Sunday and told Brad to hide the scissors.
22 comments:
You can be greatful that your daughter can spell her name right!
I know the "best choice" tug of war too. Some days the blog wins, sometimes other things do. There just has to be a way for them to coexist.
I have completely enjoyed your gratitude posts this month. You have touched my heart. You not only know how to make great Mac n cheese, you know the recipe for amazing posts. Keep it up!
I'm glad you didn't quit. I would miss your kids and funny pictures like Norah Griffiths!
I visited Wendy's site. An inspiration, to be sure.
I just saw you on Monday and didn't even notice a hair chop! How is that possible?? You are beautiful - no matter what you do. No sympathy on the hair thing from me. Sorry. You're too pretty.
Yay that you can't quit. I understand the thought of 'is it a best use of my time' thing, but I agree that the benefits outweigh. I totally get inspired by you and other fellow bloggers. Hey, I even put up my Christmas today.
Your pictures are INCREDIBLE!!! How can you ever choose? All I can say is that if you are getting one of mine, I'm definately getting one of yours.
Good news on my card front. I made 91, but when I mail merged my envelopes, I only have 86 on my list right now, so I have extras.
martha...i totally get the hair thing. if nothing is working out for me, i know at least i have control over my hair. without a whole picture, it's hard to tell, but i think it's cute.
**i fully intend to chop all my hair sometime soon...
Martha - I'm glad you blog! Your posts put mine to shame! You have beautiful photographs and even more beautiful words!
Since I don't scrapbook, my blog is my scrapbook...that is how I justify.
Your holiday photos look great. It's fun to see how Katy's style has changed as a photographer (she took my wedding photos).
I'm glad you're hanging around...your posts make me happy!! Allow yourself this one little pleasure/stress reliever.
I love your pictures. I wish I had a talented photographer in my family to take beautiful pictures... That is so funny with Norah's name. I had the EXACT thing happen when I taught 2nd grade. The name Jessica got carved into a desk that only Jessica sat at. When I sent her to the principal for defacing school property, Mom flew into a rage. How dare I accuse HER daughter of this. Someone had obviously sabatoged poor, innocent Jessica (whose name was actually spelled correctly, and if it was sabatoge it would have been spelled wrong, trust me). How can you reason with that?
You can NEVER stop blogging! I love your posts! You inspire us all :)
I'm glad you didn't quit for good. We would all miss you. And the points you pointed out are all true. Blogging helps us in lots of ways. I love the story of the name written on the door. So something my kids would do.
I doubt anything you do to your hair would take away from you timeless beauty! And I did notice your most awesomely( is that a word??) decorated house...very special indeed :)
My daughter should come to live with you. She could teach Norah how to personalize furniture with Sharpie...much better than crayon! And she would trim your hair. For free! She has excellent references and is a non-smoker. Interested?
hmm. you could probably shave your head and still be completely stunning.
where does your sister in law live? i would love to have some family pics done that come out as great as those.
and where did you serve your mission? i think you are someone i would be interested in getting to know better.
So what kind of chop are we talking about? chin length? Cheek bone length? Eyebrow length or right at the root? Any but the last is probably better than you think. I'm sure you still look fabulous. You and Brad need to get a babysitter and go out with Mark and I. Maybe you can come see his band play one night and we can relive old times.
OK - didn't notice any bad hair on Sunday, but then again, I wasn't having the most calm day to notice anything.
I know about the blogging - whenever my husband walks by the office I close whichever page I am on so that he doesn't see me blogging - I must feel guilty or something
hmmm... i need to see a picture of your brother, bc we had a couple of elder wrights. can you hook it up? my email is cabov@rocketmail.com or you can do it somehow via blogs. i'm intrigued... especially since there was a really hot elder wright that everyone wanted to marry (several elders included... I'M KIDDING) and since you're pretty hot, it stands to reason you may have a hot elder wright for a brother. and to avoid any awkwardness, i'm not saying i personally wanted to marry him, just in case it does turn out to be your brother.
Martha, martha, martha. You are beautiful - and I don't think you could do anything to your hair to make it not so. I love your blog - it's one of my favorites. In fact, we were talking the other night about Enrichment activities that people are interested in doing and someone mentioned blogging. I said I had a friend (who will be moving into our ward in a few months) who could give all of us some great tips on blogging, because her blog is spectacular. Sorry for volunteering you, but you seriously have a talent for it.
well i have to admit i am surely grateful you didn't decide to give up blogging. I love looking at your blogs. And a bad haircut could hardly make you ugly martha :)
please don't stop blogging! I love to read all of your creative posts, you are amazing and inspiring! I have to laugh about Norah though...kids!
Bangs, or no bangs, you are so pretty. Wish that's what I did when I was stressed...instead I just add inches to my waistline:(
I can't stop oogling over your family pictures. You are a beautiful family to begin with, but I'm starting to wonder what kind of magic Kate could work with us. Oh and one more thing.. Norah's skirt is to die for cute!
I'm glad you blog. I love reading it. I'm sorry about the hair. I am too afraid to even put scissors in my hands. brave.
alas. not a match. in 98/99 i was giving birth to my first child. i am old, old, old. i served there in 95. i'm THIRTY FOUR for crying out loud. ancient.
although, i will say your brother is equally as easy on the eyes as the infamous elder wright of several years prior.
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