Last night we celebrated the anniversary of the birth of the Relief Society. I was asked to share the feelings I have about the organization with the sisters of my ward (congregation). I decided to post what I had written because my story is not unique; I'm sure thousands of women have had similar experiences. I also want to publicly thank the good women who surround me. I love you and I will miss you.
There was a time when I certainly did not appreciate being a member of the Relief Society; I was unable to comprehend it's value. I disliked the old Relief Society manual and felt injustice in the fact that as a woman, I needed to be taught lessons on 'gardening in small places' while the brethren studied the doctrine of the scriptures. I was young and naive, and maybe had a slight feminist streak. I felt the 'domestic' lessons trivialized who I was.
I need to add that at this time, I was unmarried, didn't have children (good for me, seeing as I was not married), felt very little inclination toward domestic duties, and did not yet have my own garden to attend to. I also had never received a calling in Relief Society; I had always served in Sunday school teaching different classes or had been blessed to serve with the young women. Then I moved to Traverse Mountain.
A few months prior to moving here, I gave birth to my first child and had decided to stay home to be her mother. All of my college friends had moved away by this time and my work friends were still working. I had to rediscover who I was as a woman and as a mother. New motherhood was a little confusing, and I found myself feeling isolated. Not too many months after moving to Traverse Mountain, I gave birth to my second child. After Lulu was born, I experienced a rather difficult battle with postpartum depression. As some of you know, postpartum depression intensifies the feeling of isolation accompanied by feelings of shame and worthlessness. After a few months of struggling, I decided that
one of the ways I could help myself was to seek the companionship and support of the woman around me. By throwing myself into my callings I offered the women in my ward my love and my services and their support was returned 10 fold.
During this time I gave birth to my third child, Abram. I had a difficult delivery and recovery. Although neither Brad nor I solicited any extra help, the sisters of this ward with whom I have been blessed, supplied me with an endless amount of food and love. We weren't necessarily in need of food, it was the love that accompanied the food that made the difference. There were numerous visits and phone calls. There were consistent offers to take my older children. Instead of isolation and depression I felt a constant outpouring of love and support. Instead of shame and worthlessness, I felt joyful and blessed. I was constantly reminded of the Lord's love for me because these women brought it with them to my home.
Relief Society no longer seems frivolous. It has been a number of years since I have felt that the organization trivializes woman; it is quite the opposite. The love of the women of Relief Society and the opportunity to reciprocate and initiate that love empowers me. I am empowered with the knowledge that I am in the service of my Savior when I serve those around me. In the sisterhood of Relief Society I have found the knowledge and power to be a better sister, a better wife, a better mother, and a better daughter of my Father in heaven. I am so grateful for the love and the service of the Relief Society and for the opportunity to serve. I am so grateful for my sisters and I love you, thank you for helping me understand my divine worth.
P.S. I now have a garden and would love to hear more lessons on gardening in small places.
