Many people have asked me to post some of my recipes, including the lovely ladies of my book club. I've sat down numerous times in the past month to type up an entertaining and informative post about the wonder and delight that is food-and then I stop before I start.
There is an inner conflict that takes place regularly in my mind and heart. In the struggle to lose myself, I find a slight conflict of interest in my choices and actions, one of them being blogging.
I have to question my motivations to blog. Are they altruistic? I certainly cannot speak for anyone else's motivation, but at times blogging feels a little self indulgent and like an awful lot of self promotion. What really is inside of me-the need to tell people how awesome I am, or to seek out their praise? I don't know, these are just things that I find I have to consider.
There of course, are beautiful benefits that come from blogging. It is certainly a bridge, connecting the lives of many and defying the isolation of distance and time. It is an opportunity to learn from and support one another. The greatest personal benefit that I have found is the testifying of love. In this human experience, nothing is more powerful and motivating than love-and I have the desire to be more motivated by love and less motivated by ego and self. Is blogging truly helping me move closer to this goal?
I don't think there is anything wrong with "just for fun", or posting recipes. I love reading fun posts and I love reading about good food, but blogging makes me consider who I really am and who I want to be. Am I really expressing sincerely the person I desire to be? Am I honestly articulating what is inside of me?
Am I neurotic or do you ever consider these things?
14 comments:
my answer is i don't know.
my blog is private so i think my reasons are probably a little bit different than other peoples reasons. i started my blog so that i could stay in touch with family and friends because we don't live in utah anymore. i could post pictures of the kids and then my mom wouldn't call and complain so much. but after just writing about the kids for a while it kind of became more about me...and that's okay with me. i have never been able to keep any kind of a journal(even on my mission) so this is the next best thing. i find it very therapeutic (and cathartic...good word), so it helps me feel like myself...even on those days when i just feel like an underpaid maid.
not that i don't love my job, because i do...
but i need an outlet to be me...JEN, not MOMMY.
and no i don't think you are neurotic...maybe just a little(maybe a lot) more serious than me. i tend to be a little "flighty".
interesting.
i started it to document our family since i can't be bothered to scrapbook or journal.
it turned into a much more social outlet for me.
i love writing just to make some of the insane, difficult or frustrating things in my life seem humorous. it helps me navigate them a little better. i do get annoyed with some posts on occasion, as i'm sure people do with mine. but that happens with real people in real life as well.
i think it's a fun way to stay connected when you live far from friends and family, and it's a great way to meet new people. i may occasionally do a little self-serving there, which is okay by me. if i'm proud of something, i'll share it. (this doesn't count the shameless, narcissistic exploitation of my birthday)
anyway. those are my thoughts. i enjoy your blog. please keep blogging.
Wow deep.
I enjoy the social aspects, the education I get reading others' blogs and the connection with my long-distance family.
I only post recipes I LOVE because I enjoy the thought that they are safe in cyberspace if my house ever burns to the ground. Same goes for photos.
I have wondered the same thing some times and actually had this discussion with the Smith Family (mainly Adam) right before I made my blog private. I don't know the answers but I love what you wrote and I love your blog. I think you write beautifully and that sort of talent should be shared. I can also tell from your writing that it is something you like to do so I see nothing wrong with you continuing to do so. Besides you are not forcing anyone to read your blog...are you?
I started to blog for family that lives out of state, then I started blogging for myself...I LOVE to look back on things I have blogged about my kids, things I probably would have forgotten. And it is one thing in my life that is just MINE...even though it is publicized over the www!! I usually don't think in advance about things to post...I usually just sit down and start typing about whatever has gone on that day! Whatever the reason, just enjoy it and try not to overthink it!!! Your blog is so much fun to read, and so thought provoking so whatever you do...DON"T STOP!! You are amazing!
me again...I also post recipes in a completely sep blog because I LOVE to cook...another thing that is just mine, but something I can share with others! But, if no one looks at it, or even cares, no big deal!!
I find myself going back and forth. I love reading interesting blogs of casual friends and even very boring blogs of close friends and family. However, I feel myself let down if I don't think anyone is reading my blog. I tell myself that it doesn't matter, but it does. I have issues with this and often won't post for awhile when I am feeling down or unwanted (Ok, not the perfect words, but that is why I don't have a job writing). I know I shouldn't care - I love that blogging allows people to say whatever they want without forcing people to be polite and listen if they are bored. I am rambling - yes there are issues and yes it can be self serving. But such as regular service in life - you can feel good by helping others and you are allowed to feel good by giving others something they enjoy reading. Am I making any sense?
Laurel, on my sidebar, posted a GREAT blog entry about this very topic this week. If I could remember how to link here, I'd do it, but I can't. Just go to the Tea Party Place on my sidebar. It was her post a couple of days ago about David McCullough. Very good. I think she says it best and there is nothing I can really add, so zip on over there and check it out. Ok, I can link here, it just won't be pretty. :-)
http://wickeworld.blogspot.com/2008/03/as-my-next-witness-i-call-david.html
Yea, it's a little self indulgent for me. It started as a family journal, but is something else entrirely for me now. It's my way of venting things either important or otherwise. It's a way to stay in touch with friends and get to know people in a way that we are too shy to do any other way. At least that's how it is for me. Don't stop blogging! Who cares the motivation if you enjoy it!
Wow Martha...I actually have contemplated this myself. All I know, is really, I'll use your recipes...so you should think of it as service...how's that for an answer?
When I started blogging it was purely for myself, a creative outlet. Only one of the two people I thought knew about my blog really did. I have found it more difficult to be what I intended it to be now that it has become more public (I mean, many more people invited to read now that it is private. It was almost better not knowing who was reading). I also find it harder to make time to really write what I want to, now that I'm a Mom. But I still enjoy and find myself needing blogging.
I do think about your questions a bit. They are good questions to ask.
You are too smart for me. ;) I am feeling bad because I am one that told you to put your good recipes on your blog! But I love reading what you write and think you have great "taste" when it comes to food.
Blogging is fun. That's not deep but it is a reason I do it. That and I like knowing that I am somehow keeping track of and accounting for my crazy life as it rushes by. Plus it gives me a social "out" whenever I want it even when I choose to stay home with my family.
Beautiful post. I think that your blog can be what ever you want it to be. Personally, I try to keep mine honest with the good and the bad. It's an outlet for me to share things I'm excited about, most of which people in my real life don't care to hear. ;) I try to share useful information as well.
I don't think blogging is completely self-indulgent, you certainly have to give in order to recieve. ;)
Great question to ponder!
go martha...way to really make me actually think. i am with "just jen" it is nice to have an adult conversation with your computer...that is definately a pro. on the con side I admit that sometimes it is very self promoting yadda yadda yadda not to mention that i feel a lot of guilt that when i see posts of mom's and all the stuff they do for their kids, it can seem totally competitive and can get to the reader even if that isn't the intention.
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