The 'G' Train: opening post

I dreaded returning from a mission. I cried secretly, sometimes not so secretly. Shingles broke out in flames around my midsection from worry. Initially, as a missionary, it took some time to 'forget myself'. By the time 18 months was up, I had found that I loved not thinking about me. I loved knowing that I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. I loved that my choices were clear and simple. I could either do a great job, a mediocre job or a bad job of fulfilling my calling. I have to admit, the exciting, lightning bolt experiences were few and far between. Most of my days were spent knocking on doors and praying for an opportunity to teach, but I was happy, the happiest I had been. I had never felt so good about myself and about others, but a mission went by fast.
What worried me about going home was I knew what I had to go back to, me. I had to start thinking about myself again, where to work, when to go to school, who to date and where to live. Instead of 2 pairs of shoes to choose from I'd have 15, instead of worrying about whether an investigator would show up for church, I'd be worrying about money. And although I understood that there are times and seasons and that these worries were a necessary part of life, it felt good to be part of such an important work. I knew that I was a part of "bringing to pass the immortality and eternal life of man".
Now, 11 years later, I'm a stay at home mother to 3 very young children. Over the past 4 years I've found myself asking "What about me?". My choices have seemed to be very limited, 'to change a diaper or to not change a diaper'? I've often wondered if I should be doing something else besides 'just' being a stay at home mom. Maybe I need a way to express myself outside of being a mother. It's true that I rarely feel the excitement that comes from having your work appreciated or admired. It's true that I am unable to spend much time on myself, my feet have not crossed the threshold of a salon for at least 8 months. But time goes so fast. My children's youth will be over before I know it. I will be their sole influence for only so long. Soon I will be crying about having myself all to myself again. Although somewhat muddled in a gray world, I suppose I still have 3 very clear choices. I can do a great job, a mediocre job or a bad job of this calling I've been given, and sometimes when things are still I can see in my children's eyes that I am still about His work and His glory and then I don't worry so much about me.

The work we are about in our fast lives: