Week One

When I said that this week began marathon training which included running 5 times a week and weight lifting, I lied. I knew when I wrote those words that I would be seeing the dermatologist the next morning for a "little" procedure. Upon entering the doctor's office, it became clear that he had actually just stated that I was to have a "procedure" and that I had subconsciously added "little".

So, I have had the skin cancer that isn't a big deal before, but this time it is just shy of melanoma (whatever that means) and had to be cut quite aggressively from my leg.



Pretty eh? Below these top stitches there are a ridiculous amount of small stitches because he cut a pretty good chunk out of my lower leg just to the side of my shin and right above my ankle, in fact, I grew slightly light headed as I watched him stitch for 30 minutes. The skin had to be pulled pretty tight and honestly, now I have an indented leg.

Moral of the story: wear sunscreen.

I think I should be able to wrap my leg tightly and do a long run on Saturday. We'll see.

I promised my sister that I would post (daily?, we'll see) my program and the recipes that I eat. My family generally eats healthy, but we have room for improvement. During my training I'd like to go a little greener as far as adding more fruits and vegetables to my diet. I will not be a 100%er, so don't judge me, but I would like to see where it takes me. Runner nirvana? I'm thin, and I look fine, but I would love a stronger, healthier body. I would love to feel great most of the time and have amazing energy.

This is the problem: I am a food snob, I can't help it. I love to cook, and I do think one can cook really tasty meals that are really healthy, but I just have to try harder.

My other problem is that I really love fat. I love butter, I love cream. So my plan is this: 5 really healthy meals, 1 sort of healthy meal coated in butter (Sunday's are up to someone else so it's really not my call, right?).

I will post what I am eating here (Cathy and Dad) and try to be somewhat accountable,and if by May I look like Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2...there you go. But if I look less like Linda and more like Julia Child, it's not because I am eating her butter smothered roasted chicken.

Tuesday I made Ribollita. All the ingredients, with the exception of the pancetta, are healthy and the soup was delicious, of course Lu won't eat it but she is something entirely different.

Wednesday one of my running partners brought me Rigatoni.

And here we are on Thursday, I'll let you know.



I think sweet Rosemary may have contracted rabies from Abram because her temper tantrum at the grocery store this morning was relentless. The checkout lady crossed herself when she saw Rosemary foaming at the mouth.

St. George Half Marathon (Painters Half) Report

So, I just need to preface this with a few prefaces:

First, when I was preparing for this half, I scoured the Internet looking for personal accounts of this particular race on blogs and such. I only found one by the man who placed 2nd last year, and his account wasn't all that helpful for someone who was running their very first half-marathon. So I hope my account is somewhat helpful for a first time half-marathoner, or at least someone who isn't trying to win it.

Second, most half and full marathons in Utah are known for being on the slightly fast side because they lose a fair amount of elevation. Many of them start up a canyon and come down into the city or town. The St. George half-marathon isn't one of these, it's a loop course, and no one told me that when I registered for it. A couple of weeks after registering for it, I briefly met a girl who found out I was running it and gave me a half grimace as she said: That's a hilly one. And I've been in a panic ever since.

So that is how I came to the race: slightly panicked and slightly sick.

The weather in St. George was rainy and a little chilly the night before. I waited in line for my chip and number, turned to the pretty redhead next to me, and asked her if she had run it before. She said it was her third time. I asked if the hills were bad and she replied that they weren't that bad, but that it wasn't a "fast" race. OK, I thought, I can live with that, because I have nothing to compare it to. That night, I barely slept, I don't know what was wrong, but I grew more anxious as the hours ticked by, and again I was panicking. Rosemary threw up, Lulu woke in the middle of the night needing medicine for her sniffles, and in the early morning Norah had a bloody nose. During the theatrics, the rain poured down.

By dusk, my head was heavy but the storm had broken. The sky was pretty dark and heavy with clouds, so I made a big mistake--I totally overdressed and pinned my number to my jacket that was over a long sleeved shirt. Even if it is only in the
30's DO NOT wear a long sleeved shirt, wear a short sleeved shirt and pin the number to that so that you can ditch the jacket when you heat up.

Anyway, there were a couple thousand people running that morning, in fact, my husband and I recognized quite a few people--he actually went to high-school with the pretty red head.

The race started at the Dixie center and we all had to squeeze our way across the mats that did the chip timing and it took a few minutes to get to my desired pace because the crowd was heavy. We made our way up into a neighborhood for the first few miles and then dropped down to a trail along the Virgin River. There were a few good uphills in the first 7 miles, but they weren't that long. The inclines were mostly gradual. I felt pretty good for the first 8 miles, although I was growing hotter and hotter by the second and wished I could strip to my sports bra. It was around this time that the leader streaked by me because the course loops back around, he probably only had a mile and a half left or so. For a second I considered jumping the track and joining him--my chip would never know. But on I went back into some neighborhood streets, and that's where it got hard. There was a gradual uphill that seemed to go on forever. My inexperience, lack of sleep, and sickness caught up with me at mile 9 and I thought: those girls (running partners) of mine can kiss off, there is no way I am running a marathon with them in May! But then I had a good mile from 9-10 and it was back on. At this point (I think) you drop back down to the river trail. I was really tired, and then my shuffle loaded Where the streets have no name, I actually looked up and saw the red cliffs and the river, and thought briefly: this is nice.

Mile 11-12 was horrible. The last 2.5 miles are a gradual incline and my sorry thighs could feel it. The last mile we passed over a bridge and turned back to the Dixie center and ran over a little steep hill and crossed the line about a hundred yards later. I finished in 1:54 and was OK with that.




Me, right after the race.

See, don't I look thrilled.

Placing some distance between myself and the race, I started to feel better about it (maybe I just forgot mile 11-12). A friend called me from the Dixie center and screamed: Martha you did awesome! I was thinking: I did? She said they had just posted the results and that I had placed 160th out of 800 women, so I guess that isn't so bad for only 3 months of running 3 times a week.

But this week starts five times a week with speed training and loads of fun with food, weights, and core training. But really, the girls I run with are so wise, helpful and fun, it doesn't seem that bad.

And really, the race was kind of nice--in a crazy sort of way.



And see, by the next day, I had forgotten all about mile 11-12.

Ambitious

Yesterday I woke with a tightening in my throat, a soreness in my sinuses, and an aching body. Wondering why God hates me, I ran downstairs to start a torturous regimen of self-medication with every plant, animal, and mineral hypothesised to fight a cold. I swallowed whole garlic cloves, olive leaf, copious amounts of zinc and vitamin c, and something that looks like dirt. I am smelling sweet today (sorry to those I have to come in contact with)!

You see, that half-marathon in St. George is Saturday...and I felt so ready and strong until yesterday. I had a plan and a few goals, now I have weak muscles and a throbbing head.

And, the weather is supposed to be icky in St. George, this wouldn't have mattered a few days ago--but now, up those hills, in the rain, in the cold, with a cold (I do not like green eggs and ham)?

So this is my revised ambition for Saturday: I want to finish without peeing my pants. This may be too lofty a goal considering that after 4 kids in five years, I sometimes pee my pants when I sneeze, sometimes, just a little. Fast running may induce the same effect as sneezing, but then again, there may be no fast running considering the state of my muscles, but then again, I am downing the liquids like there is no tomorrow. Maybe the rain will be a good thing.

I will let you know how it goes.

Better

girls camp 2009



I'm just emerging from six and a half years of functioning fatigue. I felt that if I took too much time to pause or if I peeked out of my microcosm too long, I would misstep, fall and that it would be too difficult to put my nose back to the grindstone of the day in and day out of birthing and breastfeeding.

Not that I begrudged my children of this time (mostly), I would regret a lack of sacrifice.

And not that I am anywhere near being out of the woods, my oldest is 6 and my baby is frankly still a baby. But this is the longest I have ever (since first finding myself pregnant) not been pregnant. And although I have considerably more on my plate than I did 6, 4, or 2 years ago, I am emerging wiser, stronger, more confidant, and with more fortitude. I know that I am a daughter of God, and I really do know that He desires for and can help me become great. I don't know that I ever really felt that as strongly as I do now.

As I tried to help the young women see the potential of their future the other evening, I found myself wondering: What is my potential this year? How good can I become?

For so long it's been: Just help me survive this without irreparably damaging anyone please.

But now I feel a gentle yet burning urgency to consecrate myself to who I could and can be.

I really only have three true priorities: spirituality, my relationships (mostly with my children), and my physical well being.

I want to become more like Jesus Christ this year. I need to know Him better, listen to Him more, and follow Him even when it's hard (like not have a bad attitude about 7am ward council, seriously why didn't the time change along with the ward time change?).

I will learn how to be more the mom my children need and spend less time trying to get my children to be who I "need" them to be.

The mother I wanted to be and thought I should be isn't the mother my oldest two need. Their needs weren't part of my paradigm.

Brad and I have been watching This Emotional Life on PBS. The very first installment brought a sort of epiphany for me. An adoptive father was talking about the difficulties of raising his son who had an attachment disorder. He stated that he hadn't wanted to be the dad that he is having to learn how to be. And then he added: but maybe that is what being a dad means.

I was touched by that sentiment. Maybe being a mom means becoming someone different in order to meet the needs of my children. It will be hard and it doesn't mean that outside sources aren't needed, but I know with help I can be better equipped for them.

It has been a long time since I have dedicated much energy to my own physical well being. It was too exhausting and I was too apathetic to really pursue a level of great fitness. But in October all of that changed, the fire was lit and it continues to grow.

I started running by myself and enjoyed the quiet. But after being reprimanded in front of the young women I decided I would swallow my pride and run with a group of women who run marathons, and not just run them, but run them fast. And it's been exhilarating, and my butt has only been frostbitten once.

So we'll see what can happen. At the end of this month I'll run a half marathon in southern Utah and am registered to run the Ogden marathon in May-only 6.5 months after I started running but I really feel good.

I am looking forward to this year. There is much to tackle and it won't be easy, but the sun keeps setting regardless of who I am, yet it feels so much better when I am better than I thought I could be.