The 2008-2009 school year was a difficult year. You know the drill, I was called as YW president, I had my 4th baby in 5 years and then Norah and Lulu started school.
Despite Lulu's recent diagnosis, she actually thrived in a structured and busy routine. Norah, not so much. There were calls from teachers, parent conferences, and a tutor was hired. Norah and I spent many of our days frustrated, overwhelmed, and tearful. Her struggle just about sent me over the edge. Too many nights I barely slept worrying about my job as a mother.
The souls of a mother and a young child are so intertwined that it is difficult to access a portion without considering the whole.
There is a certain loneliness in being a mom.Often we share our triumphs and defeats in knowing nods and embraces, but there are unique burdens carried alone in order to escape the generalizations, judgments, and condescension. Over the course of the school year I learned who could be trusted with the raw, and who really couldn't. I am so grateful for friends who listen and love. I hope to be more like you.
Then the summer came and we were able to escape to leisurely expectations. You would find us under the tutelage of the library, the praying mantis, "hoppers", flowers, and clear, cold, great lake waters. But now our school of make-believe has come to a close and I feel a little apprehensive.
Sunday we had a special family dinner with grilled salmon, sweet corn relish, and grilled asparagus. Lulu had an apple. Lulu is under the impression that Salmon ranks among the undesirable food.
For desert we had a strawberry tart which Rosemary thoroughly enjoyed. We had a family council, set goals, received father's blessings, and resolved to use the potty (mostly Abram's goal, but still a good goal for everyone).
I woke up early yesterday morning, did my best June Cleaver, cleaned, cooked, smiled, took Abram and Rosemary to a quiet and destitute Thanksgiving Point garden while Lulu attended her afternoon program.
And so we will see. I certainly am depending on and need more than my capabilities in order to have a successful school year.
Who knew school became more difficult when vicarious?
10 comments:
I love you Martha. I love the raw.
And someday, we are going to Thanksgiving Point together.
Know that you are prayed for. When our kids are used to the schedules, lets get together. You are a fantastic mom Martha.
This is my last year of homework. It's been a long 18 years.
I love your posts Martha. I love the picture of Lulu eating an apple. My life goal is for us all to be able to sit down at the table together eating one meal! I tried introducing fish to Jocelyn early on and I have had nothing but looks of disgust from both my children. Good luck with Norah this school year and it sounds like Lulu is just like Boston; I have to keep him busy or he's just trouble!! Hope to see you Saturday.
i hope it doesnt' sound condescending when i say your bangs make you look cute. because they do.
i like what you wrote about moms bearing some burdens alone, simply to avoid certain things. very, very isolating at times. thank goodness for the savior.
Love the bangs, Martha. And you are a wonderful Mom. Never think less. Let's get together soon (FOR REAL)...
Martha, I sometimes don't know what to say to not distract from the beauty of your blogs. This is one of those times.
Your girls always look so cute. Their clothes are to die for. I can't take my eyes off Lulu's skirt, so that and the bangs have completely distracted me from the meat of your post. Sorry, I like the raw, I do, but I just love the skirt, too...
;-)
Beautiful Martha. I love love love this post...on so many levels. I love your words on bearing burdens alone. Oh I've been there.
But especially I love this..."The souls of a mother and a young child are so intertwined that is it difficult to access a portion without considering the whole."
You spoke my heart today...now can you call my husband and explain it to him! ha!
Just a heads up. Metzi started a blog. http://nyyabuts.blogspot.com
Mike
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