It is on a sunless day such as this, stripped of babies, duty, demands, and distractions, that notice is taken. A stillness is replaced by somber and seeping emptiness reveals a cavity. Gone is the glitter and diamond encrusted snow, exposed are soiled patches of faults and short comings.
As the slate sky casts it's unforgiving shadow over me, I am forced to become acquainted with the chasm between what is and what may be.
Through my window is a gully; deep, dividing, precarious. Gazing at the barbed, barren scrub brush, I feel conquered and oppressed by my deficits. It is cold. The slope is unyielding.
But somewhere, lightly grazing the weight of hopelessness is a promise. Beyond the boulders and tumbled weeds are wholeness and clarity.
So I will seek:
Him.
answers.
understanding.
the ones whose hands need holding.
the daughter who tries me, again and again.
the daughter that needs extra love.
more connection.
cleaner hands.
a pure heart.
dependency.
self reliance.
charity.
forgiveness.
And as I commence on yet another venture to become better, the sun breaks through and beckons me.
5 comments:
i find it semi-creepy that i keep being the first to comment on your blog. it's almost stalker-esque.
nice analogy in the post here. how are things going with your daughter? we should catch up a little. email to follow.
Wow, that is a beautiful way to start the new year. I would love to see more of you this year, that will be added to my resolutions.
Yes, I would like to see the hair clip and yes I will take any clothes you are offering.
love this. And goodness, thank you for your fabulous, thoughtful comments on Segullah. Words to live by!
Okay - I am not sure, but crying isn't something I usually intend to do when I read blogs. Thanks for sharing; there is so much truth for me in your words. We gotta get together sometime.
beautiful!
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