Back to Good

On August 3rd, 2008, when I was called into the bishop's office and asked to be the YW president, I was 2 days overdue with Rosemary. That day was also fast Sunday and my birthday(I know I've been over all of this before but I like to repeat myself). I obviously accepted and on the short drive home my husband gave me the look(the look that says, "what the freak did you do that for?"). All I could think was, "I don't know, but I'm trying to trust that there is a reason".

My faithful husband then decided that his fast(for the remander of that day) would be to be blessed with a good baby. You see, we are blessed with the most beautiful children in the world(this is not up for debate), but our first 3 children were very trying infants. Even though the pages of many sleep and baby books have been worn, weathered, and studied, our children were sleepless terrors. In fact, Abram, at 2 years of age now, just barely started sleeping through the night.



But his eyes are just too intoxicating to begrudge the injustice that he has laid upon his mother.

Back to my story, the days came and went, shortly(or not so shortly, by pregnant woman definition), I gave birth to Rosemary. And she was good. So good. There is a God!



She rarely cried, she slept like a dream(only waking a few times a night); she was basicly perfection in pink.



In the last month, on most nights, she woke only once. Sometimes I like to read into things that don't need being read into and pretend that just maybe God was smiling upon me because I really deserved this angelic being.



But tragedy struck. Last Saturday, she developed a fever. She was up multiple times that night, the next and the next. As her fever subsided, a throbbing in my neck intensified. When her illness passed, my neck pain was at a fever pitch. And even though the virus has run it's course, she continues to wake, 6-7-8 times a night. I don't think I need to tell you what this has done to my neck and to my sanity.



On Friday, when I was about to throw myself off of a cliff, I pleaded with the doctor to fix it, fix it all(is that to much to ask?). She shot a steroid into my neck(not as horrible as it sounds), and promised that the pain would subside.

It is now Monday, and still there is pain(cursed steroid), and no sleep.



My feeling is that the pain in my neck will not go away until I get some sleep.
So my question is, what do I do? I have a lot on my plate, and I had it good for a while,but now it's gone. How do I get it back? Is it typical for a baby to fall out of sorts after a sickness? Should I sleep in the basement and let Rosemary duke it out with my husband(remember I breastfeed, and the basement is cold)?

I'm tired.