Grey

Photo: May, 2011

Around our three garden beds are planted Scottish and Irish moss. I imagined these to be perfect fillers inbetween the flagstone steps that create a pathway between the boxes. While they are pretty and spread easily, they capture numerous weeds which are hard to pull because of the denseness of the moss, which leads us to yesterday.
In the aftermath of our trip the weeds have taken up some serious high-density residence around my vegetable gardens. In an effort to bring some neatness to this corner of the yard, I bribed the kids with the promise of a snow-cone if they helped pull the weeds, collect them, and place them in the wheelbarrow.
We pulled and pulled, and there was murmuring indeed. It was hot, there were spiders and bees, the weeds were trapped under rocks and so forth. Then Lulu burst out with one of her insights: Mom, does Satan make weeds? Before I could answer, Norah answerd: Yes, God only makes pretty stuff.
At this time I giggled, but also thought for a moment, this could be one of my lazy-mother times (which I totally opt for occasionally) or I could use this to continue a conversation we had a few months ago.
During spring break, I took the children to visit the Hill Air-force base museum. In anticipation, I hadn't thought much about the museum, it was just something to do. But there were photos, and bombs, and guns, and planes with interesting "art" on them, which of course, lead to many questions. There have been plenty of times when I have been thoughtless, but I don't want to be glib about war.
Then, on memorial day, as we traveled down the main street, my children asked about all the flags placed on the businesses. Talk of war leads to the obvious questions for a child: who are the good guys and who are the bad guys and why do people kill each other?



I remember as a child, and occasionally still now, despite my age, the feelings of being "right" as opposed to those who are "wrong", or "good" as opposed to those who are "bad". These feeling don't provide for much learning, they produce a feeling of pride and they put enmity between myself and others.
I know as a child it is so much more simple to compartmentalize people and issues. Unfortunately, I see too much of it continue into adulthood, whether on Facebook, blogs, or in daily conversation. Thoughts arise in my mind often that dismiss any allowance for insight or thoughtfulness and it is work to rise above it.
I often believe that some of the sweetness and beauty in life come from the struggle to push through this and arrive at empathy. Life would be simple if it was as cut and dry as black and white. But I don't believe life was meant to be simple, it is complex and multi-dimensional for our growth.
This isn't to say that evil doesn't exist. I know it does, I've seen it. We all have choices to make, some are better than others. Most people are mixed bags on their own journey. I believe that when we allow ourselves to talk and think more deliberately, we see ourselves more clearly along with our own weaknesses and deficiencies, and we allow for charity. And if I come away from teaching my children nothing else, I want them to be left with charity. There are many things I don't know or understand about life, but I do know that charity will not fail them.