I've been a bit cranky this past month. I think I just let myself get run down by all that is expected of me as a mother and homemaker, all that is expected of me as a YW president, and all that is expected of me as a sister in the Relief Society. As meetings and doctor's appointments and responsibilities that seemed to be solely mine
piled on I realized that I needed to be more and I was slightly resentful because sometimes I don't feel like being more, sometimes I feel like being less. You know?
And I wasn't keeping it to myself, I was starting to complain. Instead of helping others feel better about themselves, I was a rain cloud. In fact, I think I said something along the lines of: If this is the way the Celestial Kingdom is going to be (serving all the time), I don't want to go. One of my better moments for sure.
And then I heard President Monson speak last Saturday, and then this Saturday, and again and again. And I realized I needed to repent. President Monson is the perfect example of how well service can be woven into the daily tasks of life. It's not separate "service" time stealing from "my task" time, the two are complimentary.
These somewhat, we will call them extra-special children, are mine because I need them and they need me so that all of us together can become like Jesus Christ. When faced with some of my children's problems I think "darn genetics", but really, are these burdens not gifts? I know, most of the time it is difficult to see it this way, but I am forced to dig deep and work hard in order to be what they need and so I am forced to involve God because they are His children as well and he wants us to succeed.
And my calling, it's not mine alone either. He loves the YW and called me to serve them by serving Him.
I think in our culture, 1st Nephi 3:7 sometimes almost becomes trite because it is quoted so often and is always applicable. But last night, as we had scripture study together as a family I noted the few verses before when Lehi spoke of Leman and Lemual murmuring because their father required them to return to Jerusalem for the plates of brass,and that was hard. And I thought of myself.
And it is hard. I live in a nice house, have a nice car, have plenty of food and clothing, but I struggle to do all that my Father has required of me. Sometimes what He has asked seems so overwhelming and I do feel heavy under it's weight, but then I hear conference and am reminded that He will provide a way as long as I am doing what He has asked and the weight becomes light and a way is provided.
So thank you President Monson for again, teaching me who I am and how to be her.
6 comments:
Beautiful. The post and you. That was just lovely, Martha. It's all a growing experience, isn't it? I need conference SOOO much.
I listened to Elder Uchtdorf's priesthood talk today on my way to the temple. WOW! It's so good and I so struggle with pride. I'm going to have to listen to it like a million times. I'm trying. It's a hill, and I'm climbing it. Sometimes, I don't go as fast as other days, but I keep chugging along...
I don't know why I'm always surprised that Conference seems directed straight at me. Every time there are talks that are exactly what I needed to hear. I have been really overwhelmed lately(did you read my post on my blog about it?) and I felt like so many talks were about pushing through those times, and know that everything will work out for good. Conference is the best!
I had some of those same thoughts-mine sometimes tend to dwell on my children as they grow and the challenges they face and will face-and President Monson said not to be afraid and there is still so much good in the world, and the Lord will provide a way for us to accomplish what he has commanded us to do.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Martha. I was struck by President Monson's talks, too. Very timely.
well said!!
What a great post Martha. I especially love what you said regarding your children, I completely agree.
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