I've taken photos, when it occurs to me. I've mind blogged here and there-scraping it all for a library book or a shortbread cookie recipe.
I keep thinking I'll just post little bits of our days so that there is something to look back on, but than I think about the meat of our lives. Should I share? Is it an open door for those who feel the need to condescend? I, for one, have found support in the words of those who have similar paths.
Don't get me wrong, I'm content and enjoying my life, but there are things...
Do I write about Norah and her struggles?
Do I write about Lulu and her afternoon "school" at Autism Journeys?
Do I write about how there a few fleeting moments in the day when I want to cuddle Abram close and smother him with love but mostly I want to leave him screaming and yelling in the grocery store/library/Thanksgiving Point garden/park, and pretend I don't know him or his sorry mother?
Do I write about how being the YW president is often rewarding, always busy, and sometimes incredibly difficult? Do I write about how there are times it makes me feel lonely, alone, and sad? I know, "all these things shall give me experience, and shall be for my good". But there are days.
I'm content to let the world pass us by-to make a peach this or a peach that.
Finding the balance between simplicity/establishing a house of the Lord and charity/knowledge is a serious and ever evolving endeavor.
I'll continue to think about it while making another tart.
And while my baby smears her face with sugar.
11 comments:
I understand your blogging dilemma; just know that your journey helps me have the resolve to be better. I can't say how often I have cried reading your words.
I just wish that baking was therapeutic for me; I fail at baking and then I just have more to cry about. Yeah, I cry a lot. Can you teach me someday?
Hey Martha,
Your sincerity and honesty help me want to make more of each day. I am grateful for your words and I want you to know if you ever need a friend, if you ever need support, if you ever need a babysitter- I am here. Our whole family is.
I think part of being a woman and a mother, is sharing. I think we can learn from each other, we can support each other, we can realize that everybody has trials and troubles it's not just ourselves. It helps us to be unselfish and think about others and what they might be going through. My two cents is that it's important to share! Love you, Martha!
i've spent half this week crying for keola. and for me.
i understand.
but i don't bake, so really, what do i have???
Ditto to what they all said. I've been waiting for your post today. Tarts sound wonderful. I'm too tired to write more profoundly.
Martha - you are so eloquent and so beautiful.
I have also found life too fast paced and crazy to blog on my personal blog. There is so much I want to say but just dint find the time. However, I find that just creating the blog post in my head is some times freeing and theraputic.
Your kiddos are growing up so fast and are beautiful
Hugs from Texas!!
Laurie
just reading your posts make me want to be a better mother...
That's a tough one Martha, you know me..I'm far more open than I ought to be. Sometimes I wish I was better at putting a lid on it and just making everyone think my life is perfect. But then again, no one's is and I have found it to be great therapy to just get it out sometimes. On the other hand..I wish my therapeutic baking turned out like yours. After seeing that gorgeous peach crisp I am horribly embarrassed I served you my sloppy cobbler. You should teach cooking lessons. Seriously.
This is how I feel a lot. I just blog what feels natural and most of it is not personal. I probably should journal, but I am a loser.
I totally get this post. Baking for therapy, finding the balance between real life and happy memories. I get it. You're not alone.
I admire that you share. It makes you believable, real and fabulous. Your sincere and profound observations about motherhood, womanhood and life are edifying and thought provoking and I'm better because of what you're willing to share. Thanks, Martha.
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