Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Just wanted to get this in...

I want this in my blog book so here is a little post:

This year we wanted to not only save money on our Christmas cards/pictures, but I wanted them to feel a little more organic. In my old age I guess I am too underwhelmed with the contrived/manufactured look. I just wanted a somewhat decent snapshot that we could tape on some paper that Norah water-colored. Good idea no? Well, in my somewhat idealistic brain it seemed easy-peasy, but that is not quite the way it played out.

On Thanksgiving we dressed in nicer clothing (brushed our hair and that sort of stuff), asked my father to take a few pictures in his back yard, and then the festivities began!

Apparently, being photographed is akin to torture.

#1


Not that bad, but not that good either. And Rosemary!

#2


Seriously? How hard is it to look at the camera?

#3


Whatever. And we all look a little sick.

#4


This was as good as it was going to get, but Rosemary!

So I caved, and had my running friend switch her head, which made it look manufactured and far from perfect. But I suppose that was the point.



And so it is. My favorite photographs of my family (siblings, parents) are the silly, either trying way-too-hard studio portraits or snapshots where people are posed far from perfect, eyes are crazy, someone is doing something that I'm sure made my parents cringe, and personalities are conveyed.

Maybe I don't want to forget how crazy it is to assemble a family of six before the camera.

Friday, February 17, 2012

My Career.

I now serve on the "Relief Society committee" since being released as the YW president a year ago. It is just alright, I've served here before and I'm still not quite sure what the real purpose is, if you know what I mean. If you don't, just ignore me.

Anyway, our last meeting (on Wednesday) was on using technology to keep memories and family history. I was asked to speak on blogging. Uh-huh. I guess I need to step it up and write a little more about these people I am raising and these relationships I have been entrusted with.

Norah:





The relationship that I have with Norah is my most difficult. I love Norah, she is sweet and talented, but she presents challenges. At 4 in the morning, I can be found lamenting the fact that I will be fasting every single fast Sunday, for the rest of the year for Norah and myself. I know that I need to learn how to allow her to develop into her best self and into the potential she has while also teaching her responsibility and efficiency. That is hard, I don't know how to yet, but I have faith that I can learn.

She is taking ballet and enjoys it. She is insightful and thoughtful. She tends to question things, like women and their roles in the church. I wonder where she gets this?

Lulu:





Lulu needs me and I need Lulu. For whatever reason, I seem to "feel" Lulu, I always have. She hugs me way too tight, and expects the ridiculous from me, but she is profoundly loveable. It isn't fair to all the other children in the world that Lulu exists.

She loves school and other children. She even has a crush, which is a good sign. She also day dreams about little fantasies, which is another good sign. She told me one morning that she day dreamed about being the only student who showed up for A tack and her crush being the only student who showed up for B track, so that they would be totally alone. Another time, she told me of her fantasy of being out on a gymnasium floor with a crowd watching her, while an announcer said: You are about to witness Lulu! The amazing gymnast! I signed her up for gymnastics within the week by the way.

Abram:





I am having a sort of renaissance of affection with Abram. He went through a tough stage of torturing his sister and whining, but he is starting to pull through. I think he is brilliant of course. He makes things constantly. If he sees something he wants, he immediately sets out to make it. He has some serious ingenuity. He attached a cable from the handle of his locker to the handle of the shoe drawer below in order to open both drawers at once (because it is too much work to open one at a time.)

The other day we were talking about school and I asked him who his best friend was. He replied: Mommy. Today, while I was helping him clean his bathroom, he asked me if Jesus would take care of our home when we are dead. I told him that someone else would live in our home when we died. He asked if Jesus would at least take care of his blankie.

Rosemary:







I'm just going to be honest: Rosemary is driving me crazy. She is up, she is down, she is crying, she is yelling, she loves me, she doesn't love me, she only loves daddy, or Abram. Nothing is ever right or good enough for her and I don't know why I didn't choose abstinence. But she smiles and bats her eyelashes and I melt again. I pray this will pass too.



Brad is a good husband and really loves our children. He takes them almost every Saturday to do something fun, and most of the time I stay home and read while Rosemary sleeps. We are lucky.



Sometimes when things are actually pretty good, I wait for the other shoe to drop. But I am trying to find peace in actually enjoying the fruits of good labor or the fruits of plain old luck. I am actually starting to maybe unlock some of the secrets of life, seriously? I am enjoying the mundane, the teaching of math (yuck), the teaching of cleaning the toilets, the laundry piles, and the tiny increments of success every day. I guess this is it. Living in the moment is hard for someone like me but slowly, it is sinking in.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Checking In









For those of you that are curious, we are still alive. And really, I would like a blog to look back on, but when I think of posting I become too overwhelmed with actually taking the time to do it. I suppose I should simplify and just do what is easy and efficient, maybe post a picture a few times a week (which would perhaps generate more photos) and if there is time to write, I will write. No pressure though.

We are doing well. My children are pretty fantastic (mostly), there have been a few highlights and maybe later I will put them up in cyber space. We took a trip to Moab a few weeks ago and the top two pictures pretty much speak as to the mood. Some time was spent moping and whining. Some was spent in happiness. Such is life. It was a sort of epiphany for me, my mother probably endured many road trips, gutting them out for our sakes. Thank you mom. It is all gold and bliss for us. As for my children, I hope they have fond memories of Moab. I will choose to only remember pieces:)

I am so good. So much better than I have been in, well, a few years. I was really pretty sick for about a year and a half. The thing is I really didn't know or understand it. It progressively became worse over time, I was always complaining to my friends and family that I just didn't feel well, that I was exhausted, and that there was something wrong. My running was horrible, sometimes I would have to stop and put my head between my knees. My iron was low, I saw a doctor, did blood work, experimented with all kinds of stuff, but didn't get better. I know this is a tale, but because of the way I feel now, I feel like I need to shout it from the roof tops. Anyway, around Thanksgiving I saw a doctor again to no avail. On my car ride home I was lamenting my fate and sincerely, I heard a voice tell me what I needed to do. I needed to go gluten-free and sugar-free. And I did, and I have! Within a week all of my ailments subsided, I have tremendous energy, have lost 11 pounds and am so grateful! My running is the best it has ever been (with the exception of when I was 100 lbs and 16.) And really, I can't say enough about how wonderful I feel, it really is miraculous! So if I go on and on sometimes about my food or health, please forgive me. I am not selling anything, I am just giddy that my food truly was my medicine.

Until next time.